Start With Feelings. Finish With Facts.
Feelings < Facts.
This has become an important philosophy for me.
In truth, I’m a fairly sensitive guy (like most guys frankly, we just don’t like to admit it). In the past when stuff got heated, I often allowed feelings to get the better of me.
I’ve subsequently learned to apply a simple process: first, focus intently upon the emotional stuff going on, without being dismissive, then apply reason afterwards. Most people will lean to one extreme or the other - then stay there. I have learned to fall into the feelings first and let them do whatever they’re supposed to do.
Often, something important will be revealed (smoke, fire - that sort of thing).
Baseline responses can really be helpful, but they stop being helpful if you remain in that state for too long.
When I recognise a heightened emotional state (whether my own or that of someone around me), I intentionally kickstart my cognitive processing into gear.
The aim is to zoom out and disseminate the facts on the table.
I’ve found this process particularly useful when confronted by impassioned interactions with those around me: my family, friends or team members. When things get overly sensitive, I try let it all sink in, then respond rationally.
Feelings are important. More often than not they result in critical revelation and independent insights.
However, the facts will inevitably result in critical thinking and interdependent harmony.
Start with feelings. Finish with facts.
