The Worst Business Idea Ever
When I started my previous business in 2003, a digital marketing agency, a lot of our time in the early years was spent building websites.
The agency quickly built a reputation for reliable work and as a result, we had a steady stream of wannabe tech-entrepreneurs pitching ideas to us in exchange for some ‘skin in the game’.
One such person was an engineering lecturer at the University of Cape Town, referred to us by my brother (an engineer himself). Wild-eyed and woolly-haired with bushy, hooded eyebrows, this guy was the definition of the crazy professor. He strolled into my office and confidently placed two 2-litre plastic coke bottles on my desk.
With some drama, he pulled out a small plastic gadget from his jacket pocket.
The gadget looked like something similar to a model of a lower-intestine. It was taped together, with various tubes sticking out from it.
He held up the plastic intestine high above him, like he was showing off the Holy Grail of Christ, and pronounced “This is the future of toys”.
I asked him what he meant, and the crazy-professor-guy proceeded to relate how his gadget was designed to create the ultimate in exhilarating experiences for kids. If you attach the two coke bottles to the tubes, fasten a hose-pipe and then turn the tap on full, he explained: “the pressure will build up until the coke bottle at the top will explode and fly up in the air like a rocket”.
He outlined the features with glee. The coke bottle will project through the air at 4m per second, and climb to around 50 meters high.
“Cheap to make, easy to transport and simple to use. What’s not to love?”
“This thing is going to be huge, like GI Joe figurines or the Nerf gun. We can create an e-commerce site together and sell millions of these things around the world every year.”
I held the thing gingerly. It felt like something that you’d find at Builders Warehouse at the bottom of the bargain bin.
As I turned the thing around, I thought of my son, who was around five years old at the time. “So, my own boy is pretty much in your target market. I have a question. Out of sheer, morbid curiousity, what would happen if he played with this and he was positioned over the coke bottle?”
The professor looked at me as if I was barking mad.
“Don’t be silly,” he blurted happily. “It’ll blow his head clean off!”
I gently gave him his gadget back and made an excuse, something like an urgent meeting.
That was the last I heard of him. I don’t recall ever seeing the rocket launcher in toy stores, or online, ever.
